The Selig of Leadership
By Richard Stone

If you want to learn about outstanding leadership, watch how children organize themselves around something they dearly desire or want to achieve. Without the assistance of intensive leadership development programs, direction from parents or teachers, or any apparent prior experience, kids know how to pull together to get something done. And, inevitably, leadership emerges in the process—a kind of leadership that represents the best of what we know about adult leaders who guide corporate and governmental enterprises. How is this possible, and why is it that we adults seem to have forgotten what was, in large part, native to our psyches?

Over the past years I have been working with leaders and managers from a variety of corporations and federal agencies. Early on, I ask them to recall a time in their childhood when they exerted some form of leadership, explicitly making it a point that I am not seeking stories of remarkable feats of leadership, but rather instances that can best be characterized as ordinary: getting a group of friends together to play sandlot ball; motivating siblings to cook a meal for mom; organizing neighborhood kids to produce a backyard play; or, planning a school event to sell donuts door-to-door for a cause. Inevitably, everyone can recall a time when they did something that could best be characterized as exerting leadership.

What's most remarkable about these little stories is the learning that comes from them. When asked to reflect on the qualities of leadership that were present in their behavior, it turns out that children intuitively know how to lead. I hear things like: "You've got to know where you're going, and get people excited about that." "It has to be fun" "I made a point of listening to what other's had to say." "Everyone got a chance to make a contribution." "We persisted even though things didn't work right the first time." "It was easy because we were going after something we all wanted." "When we reached our goal, we took time to celebrate."

If leadership comes so easily to children, why does it present so many challenges to adults? For starters, getting anything done in a complex organization requires a variety of skills that we associate with leadership, but probably fall more into the province of management and political acumen. Secondly, adults have learned through their educational training that failure is a bad thing, and organizations reinforce this value by punishing failure rather than celebrating it. Ironically, children are rarely deterred by thoughts of failure. They take on challenges because they want to, and because they are inherently fun and interesting.

The vast majority of business environments have become so filled with seriousness, fear, and dread, it's no wonder that they kill personal initiative, creativity, and organizational innovation. As an antidote, I have come to believe that 21st century leaders must cultivate in themselves and their organizations something that comes naturally to children: silliness. We adults abhor silliness, and if you listen closely to how we disparage children, especially older ones, and adults who are acting silly, it's no wonder we have lost touch with this vital aspect of who we are as human beings and as leaders.

Interestingly, the word silly has its roots in the German word selig, meaning "blessed, prosperous, healthy, and happy." When I have given adults permission to become silly in my training programs by asking them to make up fanciful stories that have nothing to do with reality, an amazing thing happens: their energy picks up, they get excited, falling out of their seats laughing, ideas and thinking begin to flow in unexpected ways, they become more unified as a team, and perhaps most importantly, their ability to solve real world problems soars.

If today's leaders can embody the spontaneity and silliness of children, they will discover they will set the tone for the creation of very different kinds of organizations—ones where creativity flourishes, personal initiative is embraced, the thrill of pursuing a big idea far outweighs the safety of sticking with the status quo, and team members feel blessed, prosperous, healthy, and happy to play a role in creating something that really matters.

© 2003 by the storywork institute. all rights reserved.